Introducing...
  the most informative...
    the most entertaining...
      the most TOPICAL...
        FAQ OF ALL TIME!!!

It's...

THE LORD OF DIRT'S TOPICAL FAQ FILE #1!!!
(The Naked Dwarf Syndrome, Ver. 1.0)

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1.  What is the "Naked Dwarf Syndrome"?

The Naked Dwarf Syndrome is when a dwarf warrior can run around the 
battlefield naked, secure in the fact that his flesh is invulnerable 
to any mortal wepons.  Not only are their actions obscene, their unique 
abilities send signals across the Void and attract parasitic entities 
known as "powergamers".  These strange beasts then use the naked dwarves 
to unleash Chaos across the Warhammer world in the form of bad roleplaying.

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2.  I'm a GM and one of my players insists that it is perfectly reasonable 
for a person, dwarf or otherwise, to be able to shrug off a heavy blow 
with ease.  What do I do?

Perhaps a demonstration is in order.  I usually bring along a baseball 
bat for that very purpose, but any heavy blunt object will do.

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3.  Is there any way to compensate for the naked dwarf syndrome by making 
the combat system more lethal?

Yes.  Simply follow this easy formula:

First, roll a D6.  Then, add the attacking character's S to the 
defending characters I.  Next, average those two numbers with the 
Dex of the attacking character's mother, add that to the median 
average of 72D20 (not the mean average), subtract half of the defender's 
M, and then add the following modifier depending on what the defender 
had for lunch:

Nothing: -20
Just some water: -10
Some granola trail mix: 0
Soup: +10
Cheese sandwich: +20
Pastrami on Rye: +40

If the defender ate something that was not on this list, he automatically 
loses a fate point.  Take the modified number and multiply that by 2D8 
times the attacker's Fel divided by 7.5.  Divide that by the square root 
of pie (key lime works best, but cherry or apple will work in a pinch).  
Finally, divide that number by zero.

Work out damage as normal, except disregard the defender's T and 
multiply the attacker's S by 3,752.  This simple procedure should 
make the combat system more lethal.

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4.  What is the alignment of a naked dwarf?

I refuse to answer this question.  Making a statement about alignment 
is as productive as pissing into the wind.

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5.  How many naked dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.  Hell, if it only takes one naked dwarf to take down a Bloodthirster 
of Khorne, then one naked dwarf can do just about anything.

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6.  What is the average airspeed velocity of an <ahem> "unladen" dwarf?

Go ask an orc.  I hear they launch dwarves from catapults every so often...

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Got any more FAQing questions for me?  E-mail me at lord_of_dirt@yahoo.com 
and I will try to give you a FAQing answer as soon as possible.


The Lord of Dirt